light in dark places'
Bluespirit (written under the pseudonym Cassidy Collins)
Fandom: The Professionals
Summary: Back when Bodie was a merc in Angola he met someone who changed
Word count: 3 569
Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. The characters and universe are the property of
Brian Clemens and Mark One Productions. This fic is meant solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.
"Doesn't look like he's gonna last much longer - there's nothin' I
can do for him now."
Standing in the crude hut, Jim Murray turned to his commander and
continued, squinting as the relentless midday sun streamed in through the
open doorway. "It's down to him. The fever's burnin' through his body
and it could go one way or the other. I'm no doctor - best just wait and
see what happens."
Looking with concern at the thrashing figure outlined in the hard, narrow
bunk, Richard Lasson sighed. "You've done what you can Jim. Pity
though - Bodie's a good kid and bloody handy in a fight."
At that moment the young man in question was seized by a particularly
violent convulsion and the older men moved quickly to his side. The scent
of sweat and pain hung heavy and rank in the humid air and dark shadows
beneath eyes and sunken cheeks swore to the severity of the illness.
Resting a hand against Bodie's forehead, Murray inhaled sharply,
"Christ! His temperature's through the roof, Rick...there's no way
he's comin' out of this one. Even if we had any bloody penicillin I
couldn't give it him - he's allergic, for god's sake!" Moving to an
upended crate nearby he said more quietly, "I'll stay with him and do
what I can."
Before the other man could sit, Lasson shook his head. "Sorry Jim but
I can't spare you. If we don't get moving now we'll never hit the target
on time. I know it's rough but you said yourself that there's nothing you
can do for him." Glancing regretfully at Bodie's waxen pallor he
concluded, "he'll still be here tomorrow when we get back from the op
...alive...or dead. But you sitting holding his hand won't make a blind
bit of difference."
Accepting the truth behind the commander's statement, Murray nodded
slowly. "I know, Rick...but nobody should die alone like this. Not
even blokes like us."
Shepherding Murray out of the hut, Lasson took a final look at the young
soldier who had joined his mercenary unit a few months before. Shaking his
head, his lips curled into a sad smile as he closed the door. "No
Jim, not even blokes like us."
The murmur of voices that had been floating around his head seemed to
recede and Bodie strained to make sense of disjointed words and phrases.
... no way he's comin' out of this one...
... a good kid...
... nothin' I can do for him...
... nobody should die alone...
It was incomprehensible. Everything was just a jumble of sound and light;
reality and fantasy combining to paint strange images in his mind. He
wasn't even sure if anyone had just been there or not...time seemed to be
displaced and he couldn't remember where he was. Shuddering as a wave of
nausea passed through him, he tried to turn his head to look and instantly
regretted it. The pain behind his eyes was excruciating and any movement
of his lids felt like sandpaper across his corneas.
Where was he? What was the matter with him?
Every joint felt swollen and hot and he ached all over. He was shivering
violently yet his skin felt simultaneously fevered and icily clammy. What
was the hell was wrong with him?
Grunting as needle-like pain shot through his body, he tried to turn to
his side and curl into a ball...anything to get away from the gnawing
torment lancing through him with every heartbeat.
Then amidst all the crippling agony he suddenly felt a moment of peace. He
was sure that a cool hand touched his cheek, leaving a soothing trail as
it travelled across his skin. Moving slowly he attempted to open his eyes
but was stopped by the same gentle caress now accompanied by a throaty
"S'okay sunshine. Don't you move...let me do all the work, eh?"
The calm words were quickly followed by the sweep of a moist cloth and
Bodie sighed in relief as his sweat-slicked skin felt as if it belonged to
him once again. Fingertips lightly skimmed his body and wherever they
touched a cleansing balm seemed to be left behind. The fiery ache and
intense heat of pain that was muscle deep, cooled and gentled in the wake
of those knowing fingers.
Summoning a strength that had previously been beyond him, Bodie carefully
opened his eyes. Through long, dusky lashes he caught his first glimpse of
the person responsible for easing his nightmare. Sunlight was behind the
figure and that, along with a halo of chestnut curls, contrived to give
the face the look of an angel...until the man smiled. It was a cheeky
grin, warm and yet knowing, that broke across the face transforming
angelic features into those of merely a man.
But what a man.
The eyes were dark...brown, Bodie thought, no...more likely green...yes
there, green as they glinted in the hazy light.
A strong nose lead the willing eye to view an inviting mouth; lips plump
and appealing and as they parted with an earthy chuckle, the sight of a
pink tongue flicking across one chipped tooth reinforced the fact that
this was definitely no angel.
An angel? Through the mist of his fevered thoughts, Bodie laughed silently
to himself. No angels out here mate...no, more chance of finding Old Nick
himself...probably enjoy the heat as well. So that must be it, he was
looking into the face of a little devil! Hmmm...a devil...who'd have
thought it? No...that couldn't be right though, could it? It was just a
man...had to be but still...he'd never known anything quite like this
before. Such strong hands...hands that touched him so lightly, so gently.
He didn't care if this was hell, as long as those beautiful hands were
stroking him he could lie here forever.
The stranger obviously sensed his charge's return to consciousness and the
smile broadened as he continued to bathe Bodie's naked body with skill and
"There you go, mate. No need to worry - we'll get you sorted out -
never you fret."
The voice was English and had a comforting almost familiar tone that at
once put Bodie at his ease. However he was still confused; his thoughts in
a jumble as the rigours of the fever still cut a swathe through his
tortured mind. Feeling a little stronger, as the roaming hands soothed his
feverish skin, he tried to raise his head.
"Who are you?" he managed to croak out between parched lips
before his head fell back against sweat soaked pillows.
Immediately those cool fingertips swept the sodden hair from his brow and
lightly stroked across his forehead and down his pallid cheeks.
"Hey, steady on, mate. You just lie there nice and still and let me
take care of you, okay? It's what I'm here for, after all."
A tin cup was brought to Bodie's cracked lips and he gratefully drank down
a mouthful of cool water. The liquid tasted so good; he couldn't remember
having tasted anything like it since his arrival at the camp. That was
right - the camp - he was in Angola with a team of mercs. His memory
slowly regaining some focus, Bodie pondered his current situation.
Everything about this seemed too good to be true. This angel of his for
one thing. Mind you, with a face like that...yeah and then there was that
laugh... no...this was no cherub! A devil - must be - he'd been right the
first time. Definitely no angels here.
So who was this stranger and why was he here?
Despite his insecurity Bodie recognised that the words and actions of this
stranger were kind and caring and he felt safe in a way that he couldn't
begin to remember, even since his childhood. He forced his head up once
more to whisper his thanks before descending into the somnolent aftermath
of his fever, where he existed for a while in a hazy netherworld caught
between wakefulness and sleep.
Time seemed to pass and as the stranger tended his pain wracked body,
Bodie slowly felt himself returning to some kind of normality. The
ferocious hammering behind his eyes was dulling and the aches in his
joints were being massaged away by gentle fingers. Awakening suddenly from
a light doze Bodie snapped open his eyes, frightened that the apparition
that had nursed him so kindly would be gone.
As if reading his mind, his saviour reached out a long fingered hand and
ran a set of work worn knuckles down Bodie's cheek.
"Don't worry - I'm still here, mate. I'm not going to leave you.
Gotta make sure you get better first, haven't I?"
Relief flooded through him as Bodie sagged back against the mattress.
Feeling a little stronger he asked, "Who are you? New to the camp?
Haven't seen you before."
The man's smile grew hesitant and his gaze flickered away from Bodie for a
moment before returning. "The name's Ray. Pleased to meet you,
"I know that mate," was the solitary, cryptic comment before Ray
changed tack. "Feeling any better?"
"Yeah, thanks. Still so tired, though." This was reinforced by a
wide, yawning sigh.
"S'okay," Ray laughed, his eyes glittering with reflected mirth.
"You just lie back and relax - the sleep will do you good. Nothing
like it for healing, so they say."
As if seeing the fear in Bodie's eyes Ray smiled, shaking his head
ruefully and running a featherlight fingertip down the line of Bodie's
nose. "Don't you worry - I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be here
when you wake up."
With the sound of that gruff chuckle soothing him to sleep Bodie drifted
once more into blissful unconsciousness.
He wasn't sure how long he'd slept but this time when he opened his eyes
the shadows were long and it seemed that night had come. He couldn't hear
anything beyond the hut except the relentless noise of bush insects but he
knew instinctively that Ray had not left him. Stirring himself he realised
that the soothing hands that had tended him before were now holding his
fingers in a warm embrace.
Shifting slightly in the bed, even this small movement must have alerted
his companion and once again the now familiar voice dragged his eye lids
"There you are, mate. Was wondering when you were going to wake up.
How you feeling?"
Bodie smiled and nodded, "Better thanks." He swallowed some of
the refreshing water once more placed to his lips.
"Glad to hear it."
The cup was removed but the welcome touches of the lingering hands
remained. Bodie closed his eyes, revelling in the feel of gentle
fingertips that slid from his face to neck to shoulders, taking on the
essence of tender caresses ghosting over his flesh. In his weakened state
he rejoiced in the sensations of intimacy and desire that the knowing
hands evoked. It had been so very long since he had felt cherished and he
was eager for more. Opening his eyes once again he tried to vocalise the
thoughts and emotions that churned within him, in a single tentative word.
As if understanding all the unspoken longing and need behind the solitary
whisper, the man sitting at his side smiled and nodded slightly.
"Okay, Bodie. It's okay."
The details of what happened next were lost to Bodie in a sea of sensuous,
languid touches, gently spoken words and warm kisses. Hands that had
nursed and tended his ills now wrought another kind of magic. His skin
prickled and thrummed with want wherever those clever fingers touched. He
cried out as branding fingertips were replaced by a greater heat of fiery
lips and tongue tracing a moist path down his writhing body. He felt his
muscles tense as the hot cavern of Ray's mouth descended on his weeping
erection and perfectly balanced suction and teasing licks brought him to
the edge of climax again and again. A searing tongue blazed a trail along
the length of the wide, throbbing vein that ran the length of his aching
cock and wet open mouthed kisses were scattered across the sensitive head.
Encouraging fingers skimmed across the taut skin holding his heated balls
and with a final incoherent shout Bodie was at last allowed to flood his
lover's mouth with his pulsing seed.
With barely a pause for Bodie to pant and regain his breath that same
mouth pressed hotly against his own, sharing the remnants of his spent
passion. Ray thoroughly tracked and mapped the interior as lips, teeth and
tongues glided together in a sensual dance.
Anxious to try and return the pleasure, conscious of his previously
passive enjoyment, Bodie slid his arms around the naked body of the man
pressed closely against his side.
"Ray," he whispered. "What do you want?"
Strong arms drew him into a tight embrace and moist words ghosted across
his ear, conquering him with their simplicity.
"You, sweetheart. I just want you."
Heart beating furiously, Bodie pulled the curly head around and sucked at
passion reddened lips. Not trusting himself to speak for fear of revealing
just how much this man had come to mean to him in a few short hours, he
nodded once and rolled over onto his stomach.
Kisses rained down upon his neck and back and careful hands rubbed at
fever sore muscles. Throaty whispers murmured unexpected endearments and
Bodie felt himself teetering on the edge of a chasm. Falling in love was
impossible; it was stupid, it was wrong...he wouldn't let it happen.
Conscious thought fled as patient caresses from oil slick fingers
carefully prepared his body and he struggled to get to his knees, raising
his arse for such tender ministrations. Then with a long, slow glide Bodie
felt Ray pierce and enter his waiting body.
The feeling was overwhelming, not only was he now physically complete - it
was as if a missing piece had finally slid into the jigsaw puzzle of his
soul. Exhaling with a long, lush sigh Bodie felt his carefully constructed
emotional walls begin to crumble. He realised that it was useless to fight
it; love had been waiting for him all along in the depths of those
laughing, green eyes.
Regaining his breath and motioning his acquiescence with a roll of his
hips, Bodie's shaft began to pulse and swell with pleasure as Ray began to
fuck him in earnest. The heavy push and pull of the hardened flesh within
him created a searing friction that stoked the level of his arousal even
higher. Every stroke of Ray's cock burnt a path of fire along his nerves
and climax all too soon roared through him as he felt Ray's semen spilling
into his welcoming body.
Floating in a sated haze, Bodie felt himself turned and pulled into a
strong embrace. Tender kisses peppered his face and then his head was
cushioned on a well-muscled shoulder while knowing hands rubbed soothing
circles across his back. Breathing in the musky aroma of sex and Ray,
Bodie smiled as he drifted off to sleep; the sounds of a familiar throaty
chuckle echoing through him.
The noises of men, equipment and camp life drew Bodie from a deep,
refreshing sleep. He opened his eyes and then quickly shielded them
against the bright morning light of a new African day. Stretching his arms
above his head he chuckled, amazed that apart from some residual aches in
his muscles he felt as good as new. Looking around the small hut he could
see no sign of Ray and so proceeded to get dressed in readiness for
finding his lover. As he was standing and buckling his belt he heard a
sound behind him and looked into the shocked face of his commanding
"Bodie!" Lasson shouted, clearly surprised to see the soldier
alive let alone standing. "What the hell? We thought you were on your
Unable to prevent a wide grin from splitting his face, Bodie shook his
head and laughed. "Me too, sir. In fact I don't think I'd have made
it through without Ray."
Lasson stared at the younger man. "Ray who? What are you talking
"Don't know his last name...just Ray. He must be someone new, eh?
He'll be back soon, I expect he's just gone off to get some grub. I'm
starving...feel like I could eat a horse!"
Shaking his head and giving his subordinate a worried look, Lasson spoke
quietly. "Sorry son but we've had no new men in since the rotation
last month, you know that. There's no Ray - in fact the company's just got
back into camp and you're the only one that was here last night."
Bodie felt his legs start to buckle and he eased himself onto the narrow
bed before he fell. "W-what, sir? That can't be right - he was here.
He looked after me and got me through the fever - stayed with me all
The commander noticed a faint blush stain the young man's cheeks but
refrained from commenting. "Bodie - look - I'm sorry, son but there
couldn't have been anybody here. Even if there had've been and he'd left
early, we'd have seen him on the route back - you know there's only one
path in here and it's visible for miles around. It must have just been a
hallucination - that fever was playing hell with you, after all."
"No sir! He was here. His name's Ray - about five foot ten with brown
curly hair - "
A compassionate but stern, "No, Bodie," cut off the desperate
comments. "There is no Ray."
Turning his head away from Lasson, Bodie seemed to collapse in upon
himself as the fight drained from him. He spoke quietly, voice threatening
to break at any moment. "S-sorry, sir. Like you say, it must have
been the fever. I-I...don't feel too good all of a sudden...is it okay if
I have a while to get my head down?"
Sensing the fatigue and distress washing through the cowed man who was
gripping on so tightly to the edge of the bed, Lasson nodded
sympathetically. "That's okay, Bodie - get yourself sorted out. Just
be ready to move out tomorrow for the Ahasi op. Right, lad?"
Squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath, Bodie looked up and
answered steadily, "Yes, sir. You can count on me."
As the door closed behind his superior, Bodie slumped back down on to the
bed, dragging one of the pillows against his chest. He inhaled
deeply...desperately seeking out the aroma of Ray...but all he smelt was
stale, cold sweat. Burying his head in the fabric Bodie cried silent tears
and slowly began to rebuild the walls surrounding his aching, empty heart.
Seven years later
William Andrew Philip Bodie, newly assigned agent 3-7 in CI5 walked along
the corridor at a brisk pace. He had just left the office of his
controller, George Cowley and was on the way to meet his partner for the
first time. Cowley had told him that operative 4-5 was ex-Met and that he
had high hopes for their partnership. Bodie, always competitive and driven
to succeed, was keen to prove his superior right. He no longer questioned
his almost compulsive need to win; single mindedness and determination
were cold bedfellows but at least they helped to mask the emptiness that
lived within him. Knowing completeness and love, only to have it ripped
away in one irretrievable moment had taken a hard toll on him yet he hid
the ravages well. To the outside world Bodie presented a faultless, urbane
faade that had stood him in good stead as he rose through the ranks in the
Paras and later the SAS.
Stopping before the door to the agents' break room, Bodie quickly cleared
his mind of such mental clutter and squared his shoulders before walking
in to meet the man who was to be his partner.
The room had only a single occupant who must obviously be Doyle. The man
was standing by an open window with his back to the room. A light breeze
carried in the sounds of the street below and from his viewpoint in the
doorway all that Bodie could see was a slim figure in well-worn jeans with
a head of brown curls. The bright Spring sunshine reflected on gently
blowing curls and Bodie caught his breath as an image from another
lifetime washed through him.
...a chestnut halo...the face of an angel...a beguiling smile...an
All at once he was transported back as memories crowded his mind. He could
feel the heat of the African night, hear the sounds of the chirruping
insects in the bush and taste the warm, wet tongue of the man who had, for
a few short hours, made him feel complete.
Cursing himself for a fool and praying that his voice wouldn't break,
Bodie whispered, "Ray?"
The man at the window swung around and smiled hesitantly, a pink tongue
flicking across one chipped tooth. "Hello? You must be Bodie, eh? Ray
Doyle - pleased to meet you, sunshine."
Quickly blinking back the threat of tears and knowing that he was grinning
like an idiot but unable to care about it, Bodie offered his hand to the
man now walking towards him. Smiling, green eyes met with his own and as
their hands touched, Bodie - for the second time in his life - knew a
moment of perfect peace. He felt the cold place that had been buried so
deeply within him begin to thaw and spark back into life...defences came
tumbling down...he had found his missing piece once more.
With a sense of coming home, Bodie whispered, "Good to see you,
At last, the long wait was over.
Originally published in Motet Opus 4 in B and D, Keynote