The Power of Advertising
by
Bluespirit

Fandom: Lord of the Rings RPS
Pairing: Sean/Orlando
Rating: PG
Summary: Orlando's not happy.
Word count: 559
Warning: crack!fic

Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. The author is not making any claims as to the real life sexualities or preferences of the people portrayed here. This is purely for entertainment, not profit.

Notes: see end

“I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”

Sean closed his book and looked across to where Orlando was standing in the doorway, his cheeks reddened from the Autumnal chill and his eyes bright.

“And hello to you too, sweetheart,” Sean smiled. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s all your bloody fault!” Orlando looked indignant as he dropped a carrier bag by the door and stalked into the room.

“What?”

“I’ve just been to the supermarket - “

“Wait! What on earth did you do that for? Did anyone recognise you? You could’ve been mobbed.”

“I went because we needed some bits and pieces, of course, and no need to worry - I wore a disguise!” Orlando babbled on excitedly, “I pulled the collar of my jacket up and wore my baseball cap and sunglasses, see? No one knew that it was me.”

Sean smiled indulgently, Orlando had no idea how stunningly good-looking he was and that his beauty shone through, no matter what. Thank god no one had seen him or it could’ve been pandemonium in the aisles and mayhem in the fresh veg.

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“So, I went to Safeway, well what *used* to be Safeway and now it’s Morrisons…”

Oh, Sean didn’t like the way that this was heading. “And?”

“And it’s a disgrace! There were *no* tomatoes, they’ve stopped making that spinach quiche that I really like and they’ve changed the brand of the bagels,” Orlando huffed, pointing a finger squarely at Sean, “and it’s all *your* fault!”

“What? My fault - how’s it my fault?” Sean asked, fighting off the grin that threatened to curl his lips.

“Well, you and all your ‘Welcome to the Morrisons' Family’, making it sound all cosy and wonderful and making me want to shop there. And *then* I can’t find the stuff that I want! So?” Orlando paused dramatically. “What are you going to do about it?” He sat on the sofa with a resounding thump.

“Sweetheart? What exactly do you want me to do?” Sean asked calmly, slowly stroking a gentle hand along Orlando’s arm. “Hmmm?”

Orlando sighed and wriggled a little closer. “Well, have a word with someone, pull some strings or something….”

“Baby,” Sean smiled, pulling Orlando into his arms. “You know that I only do the voice-over, right? I don’t actually have anything to do with the company.”

“Mmm, know that,” Orlando moaned as Sean nibbled softly at his neck. “But, you know, you’re, um, *Sean Bean* - another reason to shop at Morrisons… oh, *sod* it!” The rest of the sentence was lost as Orlando groaned and threw himself onto Sean’s lap, plundering his mouth for kisses and obviously trying to break all records for Getting His Gorgeous Boyfriend Naked As Quickly As Possible.

~

Much later, they lay sated and safe in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. Orlando lifted his head and smiled.

“Sean?”

“Hmmm?”

“I did something amazing today….”


The end.

Notes:
This may not make much sense if you’re not in the UK but Sean does various TV adverts:~
1. He does the voice over for the Morrisons supermarket chain who have recently taken over Safeway. One of the tag lines is ‘Reason ‘so-and-so’ to shop at Morrisons….’
2. He also voices the National Blood Transfusion Service ads. ‘Do something amazing, give blood’.